The Charlie Chaplin

On this day in 1978, two dim-witted auto mechanics stole silent movie star Charlie Chaplin's body from its burial place in Switzerland. The two men, desperate for money, then sent a ransom note to Chaplin's widow, promising her the return of his body if she would pay them $600,000. She responded by telling them that Charlie would have thought the demand was ridiculous, and she refused to pay. The police caught up with the thugs a few weeks later and recovered Chaplin's body.

While this story is interesting, I think the most interesting aspect was Charlie's plucky widow. Oona O'Neill Chaplin was the daughter of playwright Eugene O'Neill and was Chaplin's fourth wife. She married the 54 year old actor when she was just eighteen years old and bore him eight children. (Note to thugs: Women who have cared for husbands thirty six years their senior and have wiped the noses of eight whining children are not much given to sentimentality. Good luck getting anything from these Iron Ladies, except maybe a punch in the face.)

So, Charlie. We toast you. It's good to have you back where you belong.

The Charlie Chaplin Cocktail

1 measure apricot brandy

1 measure sloe gin

1 measure lime juice (fresh, or Rose's lime if you prefer a sweeter drink)

Pour all ingredients into a martini shaker filled with ice and shake until frosted. Pour into a 4 ounce martini glass and garnish with a lime twist if desired.

The Salem Witch Cocktail

This day marks the beginning of the Salem Witch Trials in Salem, Massachusetts, in 1692.

Three women, Sarah Goode, Sarah Osborne, and Tituba, (an Indian slave from Barbados), were charged with the practice of witchcraft. Tituba, probably with some heavy-handed "encouragement" from her accusers, later confessed to the crime (way to go Tituba, that was soooo helpful...).

 This was bad news for the folks in Salem and the surrounding area, since it encouraged the Massachusetts Bay Colony authorities to launch an all-out witch hunt. Before the hysteria ended in the fall of 1692, over 150 people had been accused of consorting with the devil, and nineteen of them had been executed for their "crimes".

So, history has a lot to teach us. First, you're more likely to be accused of witchcraft if you are named Sarah. Second, if you didn't do something, don't go around saying you did. No one likes a braggart. And third, if you have to have a vice, make it an occasional cocktail and skip the eye of newt and bubbling cauldron crap. It can only lead to tears.

The Salem Witch Cocktail

• 1/2 measure vodka
• 1/2 measure raspberry schnapps (or Chambord if you like)
• 1/2 measure melon liqueur
• 1 splash lime juice
• 1 measure sweet and sour mix
• 1 measure club soda
• 1 splash grenadine syrup

Mix vodka, schnapps, melon liqueur, lime juice, sweet and sour mix and grenadine in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake until frosted. Pour into a highball glass filled with ice and top with club soda.